Finding authenticity in self-promotion

Lisa Stähli
9 min readJan 23, 2023

The story of how I realized that I accidentally created my personal brand, how the term personal branding still makes me cringe, and why every woman in tech should be thinking about self-promotion.

Picture by Anna-Tia Buss.

Personal branding — two words that taste a bit sour to me. Why? Maybe because I grew up in a country where speaking about yourself and your achievements is seen as a bad thing. It does not take much to be called phony in Switzerland, and it’s definitely something we are conditioned to dislike a lot in others.

I also struggle with the concept of associating my person with a “brand”. I recently read an article about personal branding titled “You are not a brand”, that is hitting it home for me: “Brands are carefully contrived; they are not real. Brands are flat, soulless, and artificial “personalities” designed to convince others that the brand is something it is not.” That’s exactly the way I had perceived the act of personal branding until last year, and I obviously wanted nothing to do with that (who would?).

This view of mine was challenged recently by attending the #IamRemarkable workshop led by my dear friend Anne-Sophie. This initiative empowers people in underrepresented groups to celebrate and speak about their achievements in the workplace. In the workshop, I was introduced to the concept of self-promotion, a term that sounded less like you are trying to sell yourself by manipulating others 😁

Early last year, I was approached to participate as a role model in a workshop about personal branding. My first reaction was… why me? I definitely did not see myself as someone who could contribute anything substantial to such a workshop. Neither was I aware that I had accidentally built up a personal brand online that others had started to acknowledge as such 🤷

I let it sink in for a moment, sat with that sour feeling for a while, and then decided to take a plunge. In the best case, I would actually learn something about that personal branding thing. Turns out I learned a lot — not just about personal branding but also about my relationship with my “brand”.

Up until this request, I honestly had not thought about self-promotion in a strategic way except for that one time my friend Helen guided me through some exercises to build my personal website that felt a little uncomfortable 🙈. On social media, I merely enjoyed the fact that I had found a community that was excited about the topics I cared about.

In preparation for the workshop hosted by Gabriela Mueller, she asked me to answer a few questions related to personal branding and my career. They helped me get deeper into the topic and explore my motivations and beliefs about self-promotion. I wanted to share some of my answers here —and I highly recommend answering these questions for yourself as well, I promise it’ll be fun 😉

Take a deep breath, and let’s go…

Gabriela: “What do you want to stand for and what do you want people to remember about you when you leave a room, in max. 2 words?”

That’s a tricky one but after some thought, I will go with: Practical empathy.

Even though I feel like the word empathy is being overused today, it is what I stand for — but in a very practical sense. I always try to open people’s eyes and minds to different perspectives.

I believe empathy is a skill that can be learned if you are open to exploring other people’s experiences. Whether it is to share my experience about being a woman in tech or to bring the user into the process of developing software, it has always been about making others see a topic from another standpoint. I aim to do this with visualizations, storytelling, writing, etc. which is part of practicing empathy — being able to present something so that the audience can relate to it.

Gabriela: “Which factors were key to your current success?”

Not always following other people’s recommendations or what society expected me to do. Finding my own path. Finding growth in challenging situations. Trusting my intuition.

Gabriela: “How do you introduce yourself in business situations so as to be remembered in a positive and competent manner?”

When I introduce myself, I often start out with what I develop and explain the use cases of the application in a way that people can relate to it. I like to explain the problem we are solving and the solution we work on. And then also explain why I am personally passionate about it.

I’d like to be remembered for the things that I created and the problems that I solved. Through what I create, my personality will hopefully automatically shine through.

Picture by Anna-Tia Buss.

Gabriela: “What is an authentic way to position your topic for example in online meetings, first networking coffee, or social media?”

Speak about topics where you can contribute, and provide real value and new insights for people. Spark their interest by sharing your unique experiences with a specific topic. Don’t repeat the latest “mainstream blurb” but express your own opinions backed up by convincing arguments. Think about your audience and what could be interesting for them.

For in-person meetings, learn how to ask excellent questions. Surprise people with your questions, and make them feel heard. If you get the opportunity, connect the topics they burn for with what you want to bring up, and create a bridge. That’s how you form a positive relationship for people to more likely remember you and the topic you stand for.

Gabriela: “What advice could you give to stay visible in the new normal?”

Share topics that you really care about — both online and offline. Don’t share something just for the sake of sharing regularly, e.g. on social media. If you are not putting your heart into it, people will notice. If you speak from your heart, you will be heard.

Authenticity goes over quantity.

I am aware that this is not how algorithms will pick up your content and share it widely, but authenticity goes over quantity. I am convinced that it’s better to have 100 people reading your work and really engaging with it than 100'000 mindless likes.

Gabriela: “Which role did networking play in your career?”

I rarely was in a position where I could benefit from an existing network that was already there ready for me to explore and make use of. I’ve built most of my networks from scratch and it has been both the most challenging and most rewarding thing I’ve done.

And my networks have provided me with a lot of great opportunities. I got a foot in the door for my current job through my previous employer and I also would not be part of Girls in Tech Switzerland without meeting my amazing Co-Managing Director Corinne at a networking event.

I very much enjoy connecting with different people and being exposed to different opinions and thoughts. Building up and more importantly fostering a network of smart professionals is almost a full-time job — it’s actual work, and it does not just happen overnight.

I truly believe that you attract what you embody. At the beginning of my career, I would connect with anyone and everybody — it was a learning opportunity. Today, I am more strict and I also don’t allow people to take advantage of me or my ideas. I have become pickier about where to spend my energy.

If you find people that stimulate interesting thoughts and inspire you to improve and become a better version of yourself — hold on to them.

You feel it instantly when there is a genuine interest from both sides and in this case, you should nurture a connection. I try to avoid half-hearted connections for the sake of both parties. It’s also ok to discontinue a connection — both online and offline. If you find people that stimulate interesting thoughts and inspire you to improve and become a better version of yourself — hold on to them.

Picture by yogaphoto.ch

Gabriela: “For which content do you use social media and why?”

I use LinkedIn for my professional network and advocacy for women in tech. I write about my experiences and like to get them exposed through LinkedIn. Receiving feedback and hearing other people’s opinions about topics is important for both validating but also challenging my own thoughts.

I use Instagram for my yoga business where I share my own practice and thoughts about mindfulness, meditation, etc. At some point, I separated my personal Instagram account from my yoga account to not bother my friends with yoga content all the time 😅

I realized that I like to keep these things fairly separate. They are different aspects of my life and my personality that I like to present through different channels and to different communities.

The separation also helps me to keep focus. I believe it is easier for people to grasp and understand individual parts in isolation. Once you get to know me better, I also show other aspects of my personality, which is always interesting. For example, many of my yoga students don’t know that I am a software engineer. I always get very puzzled looks when I tell them. I like to surprise people like this, to challenge their stereotypes.

Huge thanks to Gabriela for this opportunity to learn and reflect on the topic of personal branding. Thank you Marianne and Sara for inviting me to the workshop, it’s been a pleasure.

I also realized in the workshop that my main motivation to do self-promotion is to increase the visibility of women in tech. It’s not to attract customers for my own business, make more sales, or find people to recruit. Not to say that there is anything wrong with these motivations, but you got to be clear about why you do it.

If your motivation for self-promotion is vague, and on top of that you don’t actually enjoy doing it, then I think you can spare yourself the time and energy. I know only a handful of people who actually like to engage on social media and build up their brand, and they typically have no monetary gains in mind while doing it.

Conference panels and leadership positions can only be filled with women if the world knows about them.

If you are a minority in your industry such as a woman in tech or a woman in leadership you might want to consider doing self-promotion in order to become visible. Share your experiences and start building up your personal brand, whether it’s online or offline, or both. The number of women might be growing, but only a few of us are really visible and heard. Conference panels and leadership positions can only be filled with women if the world knows about them 💪

Build up and scale your network — offline and online — and get yourself known — inside and outside of your organization. Start by thinking about what you want to stand for, and what topics you can speak about with passion and authenticity. Share what you do, why you do it, and what problems you solve. First, get to know and then own your story 💚

Or as Caroline Harth put it in a recent article about the fact that personal branding is dead and the need to “unbrand” yourself: “Ask questions you honestly want to know to understand your audience. This is authenticity. And focus on your story rather than focusing on your brand bible. Because remember, you are a person, not a brand.”

Personal branding is not necessarily something to be ashamed of if you do it for the right reasons. And if you’re Swiss like me, you will need to get used to that sour taste it leaves behind. Self-promotion, the basis for self-advocacy, has become a necessity in a world where nobody has been waiting for you. Be able to articulate what you stand for and become an advocate for yourself first. If you can do that truthfully and with authenticity, others will follow.

What’s your experience with self-promotion? Let me know in the comments ❤

Here are the 7 questions about personal branding for you to answer:

  • What do you want to stand for and what do you want people to remember about you when you leave a room, in max. 2 words?
  • Which factors were key to your current success?
  • How do you introduce yourself in business situations so as to be remembered in a positive and competent manner?
  • What is an authentic way to position your topic for example in online meetings, first networking coffee, or social media?
  • What advice could you give to stay visible in the new normal?
  • Which role did networking play in your career?
  • For which content do you use social media and why?

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Lisa Stähli

Product-minded software engineer & UX designer, advocate for diversity in tech, and yoga teacher.